This will be the last time that I write home as a full time missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
In Spanish, in this kind of moment, we say that i have sentimientos encontrados, which basically means I just have a bunch of feelings mixed together that I don't know how to explain, without enough time to even try. I am so excited to see you all again, see your faces, hear your voices, talk to my puppies..... but at the same time, I feel torn apart on the inside to be leaving a place that I have come to love so much. As hard as it is, I have the comforting feeling and assurance that I will come back soon enough, since Sonora has become part of who I am.
I really am grateful for all of you who have written me over these last two years, many of who you put your busy lives on hold to send me letters of encouragement and love, many who have sent me care packages that make other missionaries jealous, and many who have offered prayers for me when I needed it. I have felt heavenly hands carry me along for these last two years and give me strength to do what I did not know I could, and I know that it is because of you all.
Maybe the biggest feeling that I have hard over the course of my time in Mexico has been an overwhelming sensation of love. A kind of love that I don't know how to describe, it is just a kind of love that you feel. I am eternally gratefully to my Heavenly Father for allowing me to be his servant for these two years, and for taking the time to mold me in to what I was capable of becoming. In this process, I have come to know many truths of most importance, but the greatest of all is that I know with all the capacity that my soul possess, that God lives, that his Son is Jesus the Christ, and He is Savior of the world. I know that God has called anew a living Prophet, and that through him, God has given evidence of his love through new scriptures that are at the disposal of every one reading these words. Never before have I been more happy to be called a representative of Jesus Christ, and never before have I felt such a genuine kind of happiness that comes from being drawn closer to God.
I love this work. I love my mission. Though it does hurt inside to leave all this behind, I imagine that when I see my family again, I will have a resonating feeling of gratitude and satisfaction for the work that I have given to the Lord, and in that moment I hope to hear His words whisper to my heart, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant, enter thou into the joy of the Lord." (Matt 25).
See you all next week!